Posts Tagged ‘motivation’

Fat vs. Fit

Thursday, May 23rd, 2013




After my last trip to the Doc I had to ask myself the question; Is the goal to be thin or to be healthy?  According to his scales I have actually gained weight in the last little while and obviously I’m not happy about that.  It sent me into a pretty negative head space actually.   Having been a fat girl my whole life I was really hoping that even at this late stage I could change myself to being a skinny girl.  Yes I want to be healthy and that is still the goal, but a small part of me has always wondered what it would be like to be the skinny girl.  I feel shallow when I say that; I also feel that it is pretty unattainable.  For myself the balance is between doing things that make me feel good physically with the things that make me feel good mentally.  I want to enjoy my life as much as I can.  Currently I am incorporating  being healthy into enjoying my life.  I’ve been working at staying healthy and gradually getting fitter so the weight gain was a bit of a let down.

The confusing thing is that there are conflicting opinions about whether or not you will gain weight due to increasing muscle mass.  It may seem a bit arbitrary but I am going to chose to believe that my recent weight gain was indeed due to increased muscle.  I am definitely in better shape now than I have been in years.   Having gotten closer to the fit/fun ratio recently I also feel as though I have made some of the mental changes necessary to maintain a healthy lifestyle.  Now I have to forget about the skinny girl fantasy because It is unlikely that I will ever be consumed with exercise so much that I will get there.

Epi-genetics, a love of food and age are conspiring right now to keep me the way I am and always have been I suppose.  Please don’t take this as giving up, because I’m not.  I do however have to accept and be ok with the fact that I will never be super-model thin and quite frankly I would never want to be that unhealthy.


Sunday, March 17th, 2013

pilates class


The local Pilates centre had a free introductory beginners mat class and I went.  I’ve always wondered what Pilates was all about.  People would describe it to me and all I could think was “so you mean like yoga?”, and they would say “no, it’s not like yoga”.  Well it is like yoga and not at the same time.  It focuses on breathing and elongating the body but in a much less spiritually infused way.  I really appreciate that.  The type of Pilates we were doing is called “mat work”, there is also a machine apparatus they call a reformer; I think that’s for the more advanced practitioners though.

Pilates is probably the easiest thing I’ve ever done that achieved such immediate and obvious results.  It is a discipline that encourages us to focus on slow deliberate movements.  There were no weird balancing moves and no “stand up, now sit down” craziness.  In fact I didn’t even break a sweat and the hour long class was over before I knew it.   The result was that I left feeling loose and limber with lots of energy.   By doing every move slowly and deliberately I was able to (with the instructors guidance) pinpoint exactly what muscles should be used to execute a certain move instead of  just doing something and hoping the right muscles get engaged.   Keep in mind this was a beginners class, the weird positions come later.

I could have skipped this class as I almost forgot about it, but I didn’t.  Am I glad that I made myself go?  Yes I am.  Making myself do things I don’t want to do is getting easier and I always enjoy the result of being able to feel good about myself for it.

Did I mention I didn’t break a sweat?  I hate sweating.

Life is a Cabaret!

Monday, January 21st, 2013



Speaking of things I find frightening…I’m taking the plunge tonight and auditioning for the musical Cabaret in my little town.  I did a lot of theatre when I was a teenager and although I loved it and usually got a part, I always got the non-singing roles.  The reason why is my complete fear of singing in front of people.  Well after almost a year of vocal training and a lot of putting myself out there with musician friends and such, I am finally taking the plunge and facing my fears.  I don’t really even care if I get  the part;  the process of auditioning is what I care about at this time.  If I can stand in front of a director and casting persons and sing then I know I have accomplished something.  If I choke, I know I’ll be disappointed but I will be proud of myself for trying.

Wish me luck.