Posts Tagged ‘fart’

The things that frighten us most.

Wednesday, May 30th, 2012

the old dark houseIt has been a long time dream of mine to sing for other people.  To be able to learn how to get up on stage and just let the beautiful sounds out.  Unfortunately when I get attempt to do that, up to this point in my life, I have completely choked.  Understand that I have regularly done public speaking and hosted events from a stage.  When I was a teenager I did quite a bit of acting, but if it came to a singing part it was all over.  I just freeze up.  The strange thing is, I know I have a good voice.  I just seem incapable of using it in front of other people; even if I just suspect someone might hear me I clam up.

For the last two months I’ve been taking singing lessons with a lovely woman.  Her talent as a songstress is unquestionable and on top of that she’s super-nice.  The process of learning how to sing from her has been cathartic in so many ways.  I realized that one of my problems was that I was raised in a family where I was constantly being told to be quiet.  Making excessive noise was tantamount to farting in someones face.  My sister didn’t help as she wanted to sing as well and would discourage me from “competing” with her.  So I would lay in bed at night or hide in the basement and sing to myself very softly.  The most important thing was that no one could hear me.  I’m sure you can see how that relates to my current predicament.   When I grew up I lived with musicians and became part of that world.  Primarily my insecurities wouldn’t let me participate in the making of music.  The music community can also be quite cruel.  When I did get up the courage to want to sing I was  shot down over and over again; whether because of snobbery or because they couldn’t handle the competition depended on who it was I was dealing with.  I still see that elitism within my musical circles these days. At a certain point I had to decide not to let that stop me any longer.

Irrational fear is never something that should hold you back.  I have spent much of my adult walking straight into my biggest fears and this is probably the largest of them all.  Learning to trust my ears and know myself has been coming slowly but steadily.  I am getting louder.  I am understanding my vocal power better.  I’m opening up and letting it out.

We often hear people say that life is too short for regrets.  It’s said a lot because it’s true.  Living with regret is not something I plan on doing.  Here’s hoping you reach the same understanding

Probiotics are doing strange things to my guts…

Friday, April 27th, 2012

stink-faceOK, I know probiotics are very helpful to proper digestion.  Recent studies have found that severely over-weight people have a different gut bacterial flora than people of average, healthy weight.  Thus getting your intestinal biology sorted out is rather important to getting a healthy and balanced body.  At least that seems like a logical conclusion to me.  What a price I am paying for that now though.  The battle being waged by the good vs. bad bacteria in my guts is producing some rather unpleasant short term results.  Basically I am a fart machine at the moment.  I was warned that this would happen.  It usually takes two or three days for this internal distress to work itself out but until then I am finding it hard to even leave the house.  As a friend pointed out ” ewwwww”; to which I could only respond “how do you think I feel”.  But sometimes we pay a short term price for the long term benefit and this is one of those times.  So I definitely recommend probiotics to anyone (as approved by your health care pro)  who wants to get healthy but be ready for the ensuing gaseous few days.