Posts Tagged ‘conquering fear’

The things that frighten us most.

Wednesday, May 30th, 2012

the old dark houseIt has been a long time dream of mine to sing for other people.  To be able to learn how to get up on stage and just let the beautiful sounds out.  Unfortunately when I get attempt to do that, up to this point in my life, I have completely choked.  Understand that I have regularly done public speaking and hosted events from a stage.  When I was a teenager I did quite a bit of acting, but if it came to a singing part it was all over.  I just freeze up.  The strange thing is, I know I have a good voice.  I just seem incapable of using it in front of other people; even if I just suspect someone might hear me I clam up.

For the last two months I’ve been taking singing lessons with a lovely woman.  Her talent as a songstress is unquestionable and on top of that she’s super-nice.  The process of learning how to sing from her has been cathartic in so many ways.  I realized that one of my problems was that I was raised in a family where I was constantly being told to be quiet.  Making excessive noise was tantamount to farting in someones face.  My sister didn’t help as she wanted to sing as well and would discourage me from “competing” with her.  So I would lay in bed at night or hide in the basement and sing to myself very softly.  The most important thing was that no one could hear me.  I’m sure you can see how that relates to my current predicament.   When I grew up I lived with musicians and became part of that world.  Primarily my insecurities wouldn’t let me participate in the making of music.  The music community can also be quite cruel.  When I did get up the courage to want to sing I was  shot down over and over again; whether because of snobbery or because they couldn’t handle the competition depended on who it was I was dealing with.  I still see that elitism within my musical circles these days. At a certain point I had to decide not to let that stop me any longer.

Irrational fear is never something that should hold you back.  I have spent much of my adult walking straight into my biggest fears and this is probably the largest of them all.  Learning to trust my ears and know myself has been coming slowly but steadily.  I am getting louder.  I am understanding my vocal power better.  I’m opening up and letting it out.

We often hear people say that life is too short for regrets.  It’s said a lot because it’s true.  Living with regret is not something I plan on doing.  Here’s hoping you reach the same understanding

Jo Parry Rocks!

Monday, May 7th, 2012

jo-parryWhy does she rock you ask?  I found her videos on YouTube for free to start with.  Next favourite thing is that she’s not one of those obnoxious perky, peppy types that drive me nuts (I know it works for some but not for me).  I like the 10 minute increments the videos are set up in.  The first time I found them I thought “I’ll just do the 10 minute warm-up and see what I think”.  After the warm-up I thought I could do another ten minutes and clicked on the next video.  That my friends is not usual for me.  I’ve never been a sports person or very physically active so I tend to not like “work-out” type things.  Lo and behold Jo Parry got me going.  She made me feel as though her videos were the easiest thing to follow and more than that, that I could follow.  That I think is what we all need out of an exercise program.  I could connect with her as a human being and not an overly enthusiastic Barbie doll.  She looks like a real person, she acts like a real person and therefore I relate to her.  Awesome.

So check out the many different exercise programs that she has published and I’m sure you will find one or two that you enjoy.  Thanks Jo.

Love Me or Leave Me

Sunday, April 22nd, 2012


Click to listen.I love Doris Day’s voice, and this is one of the songs I’m learning in my singing lessons.  I’m really glad I’m doing this.  The confidence and joy I’m feeling during and after my lessons is really nice.  Knowing that I’m standing up to one of my darkest fears (singing in front of people) makes me feel good about myself.  Anybody who is willing to just step over the precipice is doing something pretty cool.  Challenging myself is what keeps me vital.  Just click on the photo to listen to the song.