Archive for the ‘Music’ Category

The things that frighten us most.

Wednesday, May 30th, 2012

the old dark houseIt has been a long time dream of mine to sing for other people.  To be able to learn how to get up on stage and just let the beautiful sounds out.  Unfortunately when I get attempt to do that, up to this point in my life, I have completely choked.  Understand that I have regularly done public speaking and hosted events from a stage.  When I was a teenager I did quite a bit of acting, but if it came to a singing part it was all over.  I just freeze up.  The strange thing is, I know I have a good voice.  I just seem incapable of using it in front of other people; even if I just suspect someone might hear me I clam up.

For the last two months I’ve been taking singing lessons with a lovely woman.  Her talent as a songstress is unquestionable and on top of that she’s super-nice.  The process of learning how to sing from her has been cathartic in so many ways.  I realized that one of my problems was that I was raised in a family where I was constantly being told to be quiet.  Making excessive noise was tantamount to farting in someones face.  My sister didn’t help as she wanted to sing as well and would discourage me from “competing” with her.  So I would lay in bed at night or hide in the basement and sing to myself very softly.  The most important thing was that no one could hear me.  I’m sure you can see how that relates to my current predicament.   When I grew up I lived with musicians and became part of that world.  Primarily my insecurities wouldn’t let me participate in the making of music.  The music community can also be quite cruel.  When I did get up the courage to want to sing I was  shot down over and over again; whether because of snobbery or because they couldn’t handle the competition depended on who it was I was dealing with.  I still see that elitism within my musical circles these days. At a certain point I had to decide not to let that stop me any longer.

Irrational fear is never something that should hold you back.  I have spent much of my adult walking straight into my biggest fears and this is probably the largest of them all.  Learning to trust my ears and know myself has been coming slowly but steadily.  I am getting louder.  I am understanding my vocal power better.  I’m opening up and letting it out.

We often hear people say that life is too short for regrets.  It’s said a lot because it’s true.  Living with regret is not something I plan on doing.  Here’s hoping you reach the same understanding

Love Me or Leave Me

Sunday, April 22nd, 2012


Click to listen.I love Doris Day’s voice, and this is one of the songs I’m learning in my singing lessons.  I’m really glad I’m doing this.  The confidence and joy I’m feeling during and after my lessons is really nice.  Knowing that I’m standing up to one of my darkest fears (singing in front of people) makes me feel good about myself.  Anybody who is willing to just step over the precipice is doing something pretty cool.  Challenging myself is what keeps me vital.  Just click on the photo to listen to the song.

Good Old Crooners

Sunday, April 22nd, 2012

A little something syrupy sweet by Bing Crosby From the movie “Going My Way”.  One of my Favorite happy songs and perhaps a theme for this blog.  I watched a lot of old movies when I was growing up.  I spent a lot of time with my grandparents and this was the type of music they would listen to.  I would sing along to many of their records so I guess I just feel comfortable with this style.  That being said I also listen to the Hip Hop.